dear boo,
i had a very sick weekend. high fever and restless night.
it felt so suffer and torture as nobody was there taking care of me. few times, i really would like to call you up and asking for your loving gestures. - it might be worthless - i whispered to myself to kill my week intention.
went for 2 times of western doctor and 2 times of traditional chinese medicine doctor. well, it did not break the previous record of 5 times visit and mc for 5 days continuously. had been laying on the bed - helpless and nobody care whether i am alive or death. i dragged myself awake in the midnight to eat medicine, boiled hot water.. nobody was there to buy me foods, but myself to look for it.
i miss you a lots. i went to ang mo kio yesterday afternoon to buy the fish porridge. i remembered how enjoyable the moment we had together while eating our fav porridge all times. are you still visiting that stall? the uncle wasn't there when i were there.
i know you always want me to be strong and to take care of myself. and...this time around, i strive hardly to recover from the devil fever. i know once i'm recover from this, i'm a step further of becoming more indepedent and strong. ...and i definitely know..this will make you proud.
boo, summer is going to end soon. fall season will be greeted beautifully with the autumn leaves. same to me, high fever going to recover soon, and me..will smile as cheerfully as before too.. ...for you...
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
returning your freedom
boo,
i have frequently listening to this song since we saw each the other day. staring at our photos. memories captured way back before when we separated to our different future, different university. ...we looked so different - so true the teenage love.
no matter how much i miss you nowadays, i have learn to keep them all inside my heart. and i learned to let you go to find your future without appearing in your life anymore.
oftenly, i keep on wondering how are you and forget to ask...how am i?... i still remembered you have always asked me to love myself first before loving others. and i'm continuing learning this chapter.
boo, i'm living fine now. ...new life,new journey...even though the future is still very unsecure; but i'm still very proud of myself on being so strong and bold to continue my journey without you around.
i always believe, there will be a day, we will meet again and fill our day with laughter and smile. and i believe, deep down in your heart, you are still hiding and protecting our friendship.
Friday, July 18, 2008
mrt interchange
dear boo,
never thought we will look into our eyes again ever since half year ago.
i was very tired and sleepy as usual when the clock reaching 930pm. furthermore, after a very exhausted day trip to batam with colleagues. while walking at the travellator moving towards the red line in the dhoby ghout interchange, we saw each other and "staring" - while you were on the opposite sides. in front of you was her. happily, smiling talking about something. i know we were surprised to saw each other again. - unbelievable -
the moment passed quite slow. i saw you wearing the old light grey shirt and i guess you are still taking the same sling bag. you are still that skinny. you look great as before. you are still physically same the chin yoong, i knew.
i realised i was freezed while i stand in the mrt. no feeling, not thinking, and...i'm disappeared together with your shadow. - i miss you -
i thought i could cried. i thought i will feel extremely pain. but, i still lost myself until now. i really wish we can meet each other again.
saying, "should be happy for the memories we had and should not be suffering of what we have lost now". i deeply appreciate to have a good friend like you for the past few years. a friend who never leave me, never abandon me and sincerely love and care for me.
it is really hard to love you, to miss you - while doing the blessing from far.
.... i really miss you.
never thought we will look into our eyes again ever since half year ago.
i was very tired and sleepy as usual when the clock reaching 930pm. furthermore, after a very exhausted day trip to batam with colleagues. while walking at the travellator moving towards the red line in the dhoby ghout interchange, we saw each other and "staring" - while you were on the opposite sides. in front of you was her. happily, smiling talking about something. i know we were surprised to saw each other again. - unbelievable -
the moment passed quite slow. i saw you wearing the old light grey shirt and i guess you are still taking the same sling bag. you are still that skinny. you look great as before. you are still physically same the chin yoong, i knew.
i realised i was freezed while i stand in the mrt. no feeling, not thinking, and...i'm disappeared together with your shadow. - i miss you -
i thought i could cried. i thought i will feel extremely pain. but, i still lost myself until now. i really wish we can meet each other again.
saying, "should be happy for the memories we had and should not be suffering of what we have lost now". i deeply appreciate to have a good friend like you for the past few years. a friend who never leave me, never abandon me and sincerely love and care for me.
it is really hard to love you, to miss you - while doing the blessing from far.
.... i really miss you.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
missing you - again
dear boo,
it is another weekend nearer to august. towards to the most painful in memories of the month of august - last year. it is so painful until i could feel it repetitively. ..sorry, naive, helpless.. that little guy. if you still remember how it is feel like.
had a 'long' holiday. went to taipei and went back home. felt so much relax..enjoy yet missing you a lots. perhaps, that's the reason why i love make myself busy with work. even though sometimes it is so exhausted, though, i guess, at least it is so much better than the feeling of thinking of you, missing you yet...i don't have the courage of letting you know.
*taipei sky*
everytime, whenever i'm thinking of you, before sending you any sms, i'll ask myself, am i ready to see you again without getting hurt? it is so painful that you had left me without a goodbye. it is so painful to imagine the happy moment we used to have and i have lost it all now. i miss being by your sides and filled our night with nonsense jokes and laughter. i love sitting besides you - comfortably even silences fill the sky.
how are you? where do you live now?
...i miss you, chin yoong.
*bracing with luck & to remind myself of him*
it is another weekend nearer to august. towards to the most painful in memories of the month of august - last year. it is so painful until i could feel it repetitively. ..sorry, naive, helpless.. that little guy. if you still remember how it is feel like.
had a 'long' holiday. went to taipei and went back home. felt so much relax..enjoy yet missing you a lots. perhaps, that's the reason why i love make myself busy with work. even though sometimes it is so exhausted, though, i guess, at least it is so much better than the feeling of thinking of you, missing you yet...i don't have the courage of letting you know.
*taipei sky*
everytime, whenever i'm thinking of you, before sending you any sms, i'll ask myself, am i ready to see you again without getting hurt? it is so painful that you had left me without a goodbye. it is so painful to imagine the happy moment we used to have and i have lost it all now. i miss being by your sides and filled our night with nonsense jokes and laughter. i love sitting besides you - comfortably even silences fill the sky.
how are you? where do you live now?
...i miss you, chin yoong.
*bracing with luck & to remind myself of him*